I grew up in a loving, but strict household. There were some really important rules that I had to abide by, but I also had a strange amount of freedom in other ways.
Case in point: my mum was rather lenient with me about my appearance. For instance, when it came to my hair, I had the freedom to style it in some really crazy ways. This raised eyebrows at school sometimes. Like that time my mom attended a PTA meeting, and another mom said to her, “Emelia’s such a pretty girl. How can you let her LOOK like THAT?”*
For your consideration, Exhibit A (I mean, seriously. Look at those bangs.):
Mum simply told her (loud enough for the other parents to hear) — and I’m paraphrasing — “Because she’s a good kid and a hard-working student. And as long as she continues that way, how she chooses to dress or cut her hair doesn’t matter to me. It always grows back.” …Oh, and she told that mom to mind her own f-ing business.
(I made up that last sentence with the expletive. Mum doesn’t cuss. Too much. But you get the idea.)
Or when it came to my fashion choices…they were, ehem, unique. For instance, when I wore sheer dhoti pants to school, and the headmaster issued me a referral for the dress code violation because the pants were see-through and he wasn’t sure what to make of the leggings underneath.
Or that time I fashioned a makeshift sarong from the set of curtains in my parents’ bedroom because I liked the paisley pattern. My mum helped me wrap it correctly. And I was so proud it didn’t unravel and fall off during class.
And before you ask, No. I don’t have pictures of these fabulous ensembles. Because...pre-internet.
And why I wasn’t invited to the Met Gala is beyond me.
Now that I’m a parent myself, I realize that this was quite a brilliant parenting strategy on my mother’s part. During this formative time in my life, when I needed to experiment and find my individuality, this was a way for my parents to allow me the freedom to express myself creatively, while still ensuring I stuck to the “important” rules.**
So it probably won’t be a surprise when I tell you that, unlike my personal appearance, my studies were serious business and something my parents cared about deeply. Going to college was a non-negotiable.
And I was extremely lucky because while many of my friends had to work part-time jobs to pay for school or take out loans, my family helped me avoid student loan debt by paying for my education. (And don’t think I don’t know how privileged I am. I am thankful. Every. Day. Of. My. Life.)
If it was tough for parents and students to do that back in the 80’s, today it’s worse. But you already know that.
Things are different for high school and college students nowadays. A good-paying job and economic security are not a given for today’s graduates. US wage growth has stagnated. The cost of living and healthcare? They’re going up. Student debt is debilitatingly high — causing many young people to put off marriage, children, and homeownership. Some are even wondering if they should go to college (which breaks my heart) for fear of being buried in debt when they graduate.
Which is why a project I recently worked on in collaboration with my colleagues at QuestResearch Group and our client Kaplan is interesting. And I’d like to share it with you here.
Some key takeaways from the research include:
Higher education is poised for some serious disruption
Parents are questioning the value of a US college education, and are looking for more affordable solutions
They place a high value on work, but also on the social skills that a college experience offers
If you want to get a glimpse into what we found about the future of work and higher education, then download the report here.
Until next time,
Emelia “Epic Bangs” Rallapalli
*You can’t see it in this pic, but I had an undercut with designs shaved in the back of my head…IN THE 80’S. #aheadofmytime #punintended
**David and I are experiencing this now. We’re letting our son grow out his hair in what I can only describe as a mullet. While it’s not my first choice, he loves it. And that’s good enough for me.